I am having some trouble understanding a couple of the questions for the final and was hoping that someone could help me to understand them better. First, question #2 in the short answer section is about the different ways Butch Mystique and Boi Hair image Butch desire; what is butch desire? Also, #3 in the same section is asking to compare Max Wolf Valerio's discussion of his Tranzman identity with those of the butch mystique and boi hair. I don't know if I'm missing something but I just don't understand these questions.

Umbrella Country: Disfunctional relationships

There are so many aspects of this book that are worthy of discussion. One aspect in particular that intrigued me was Estrella's disfunctional relationships with Daddy Groovie, Pipo and Gringo. Halfway through the book, we learn that Estrella was essentially forced into getting together with Groovie, at the hands of Ninang Rola. She ends up getting raped by him, resulting in a pregnancy. When Estrella wants to terminate the pregnancy, Ninang Rola again influences her and has a hand in getting Estrella and Groovie married. When all this surfaces, it confirmed my suspicion that Estrella never really wanted to be with him, nor have kids with him. Later, she even tells Ninang Rola how she tried to love him, but just never could. By the end, of course, we know that she ends up staying behind while Pipo and Gringo go to NuYork to live with their ***hole father. Now, I'm not defending her choice, but in a way, I kind of understand it. For one, perhaps she felt that she could not really be a mother to them, being all screwed up and all (and since she could not be with Daddy Groovie again, figured that the boys would be better off in NuYork with their dad than with her). Towards the end, she was successful at bonding with them (and Pipo and her actually held each other), but ended up not going after all.

Disfunctional relationships really effect entire families. When reading this book, I was reminded of my own Grandma and Grandpa (from my dad's side). Needless to say, their relationship was totally disfunctional and it affected their kids greatly. From what I've been told, my grandpa was a pretty bad dude (he didn't drink, and I don't think he beat up anyone, but from all accounts, nobody liked him. In fact, at his funeral, only one person paid tribute!) Anyway, years after my grandpa died, my grandma revealed that she, like Estrella, never loved him. She married him thinking that she would never get proposed to again, ever. So imagine, getting married to someone you don't love, having kids with them, and perhaps, resenting the kids? I am certainly not encouraging this, just shedding a personal note to illuminate how Estrella might have been thinking.

Umbrella Country

I really wish we had spent more time on this book, there was so much more in the little things about the characters that was really remarkable. I would've said more in the class when we did talk about it, but actually had started crying again thinking about Gringo saying goodbye to Fernando (Boy Spit - I just re-read that passage so got his real name, the only time it is mentioned) so just sat in the back wiping my tears. About the ending, in many way it was both the happiest and saddest ending to a book I've ever read. There was so much hope and chance for a good life for everybody finally. Even Daddy Groovy could get a chance to be a real father to his sons. This book made me think seriously about the things that bring people to USA, and when I meet immigrants sometimes their foreign customs annoy me, and I think "if they want to come here why don't they want to be American?" but stuff like this reminds me that not everyone wants to come here, some people have no choice. Like the kids, but also Daddy Groovy, who had nothing for him in PI either, his only chance for a real life was to come here where we get all the product of the rest of the world for our wealth and have all the space to spread out. Also, almost everything we've read or watched this semester has had the theme of 'memory' or 'identity' from our past heritages, I guess by keeping some part of their past it keeps people sane and grounded in ways that a native-born can't see, being already in the place the memories are from.

Discussion of Her: Ethnic identity, white privelege and political correctness

As we were discussing the book Her: A Novel in class, the topic of ethnic identity came up - a topic in which I am very interested in. I thought it was interesting that the topic of "political correctness" came up - and wanted to respond, first, with a story. I was listening to a morning radio show on my way to school the other day, when the DJS were talking about Mexicans (I can't remember the exact framing of the discussion). A person called in to state that she was from Nicauragua and hates it when people constantly call her a "Mexican". After she hung up, one DJ (who happens to be both male and White) didn't understand why the caller was so frustrated and upset. He said that, if he was travelling and someone mistook him for being Canadian, or British or Australian, he would not care (a subtle example of his white privelege). My point in telling this story is to promote the idea that ethnic identity (or however we choose to identify ourselves) is something we must choose for ourselves, not something that should be defined by others. In the example given, the caller was trying to tell the DJ that she identifies as being Nicauraguan, and when others just assume or press upon her another identity, they are simply being ignorant. In my eyes, addressing someone by their "correct" identity is not a matter of being "politically correct", but a matter of respectablity. If you don't know how someoneone identifies themselves, please ask before impressing upon them an identity. Something to think about.

daughters of the dust

After watching the film, Daugthers of the Dust, I was disappointed that the film was so simplistic on the surface, yet filled with complexity underneath the simplicity. In order to make any sense of the film, it was pivital to thoroughly read the screenplay. I had a hard time understanding the movie in any way until I had gone back and read the screennplay and heard Dr. Esquibel's synopsis and explanation of the characters. I just felt like the film had many critical issues within and would have been better conveyed through a less confusing script with some actual background and detail.

Good reading (DotD) and bad blogging!!!

Looking again at the 'Daughters of the Dust' makes more sense knowing that the character Toady is probably female. The scene of the club they run at first reading sounded like just a party place, and didn't know why none of the people from there would not go to church also; seeing it as a queer space makes the marginalization of the people and the interactions a lot better. I do wonder why there was the constant gender mixing going on, and wonder about the whole scene being based on some real place. What struck me the first time was the focus on memory and the way it was sort of 'taken for granted' and yet an integral part of the people. Also, in a way it was dissapointing to see the stories of Haagar and Yellow Mary because in my mind had created an entire history for them that didn't match what was told!!! In the movie my favorite characters were Haagar and Nana, so to find Haagar later described as "equal parts rage and censure" was actually confusing. Haagar had seemed pretty bitter and unillusioned but not that bad, she actually reminded me of my eldest sister (the one I don't speak with anymore) and reading that has made me look again at that sister to see what I saw mirrored in the character! It was also strange to me to think of how isolated that 'queer community' would be, the people have their own customs and dialect and since they are thought of as 'backwards and ignorant' by the mainlanders, would pretty much be stuck on the island. Must be pretty strange, and wonder how welcome strangers (tourists, etc) would be, compared to how welcome they would be on the mainland? Oh, speaking of memory, the speech Nana gave in the graveyard was great, about the power and strength of having memories to grow from. Guess that is what a lot of the search for 'history' in many stories we've read is about. Also Eula's comments on the difference between Yellow Mary and the so-called respectable women were pretty powerful, along the lines of 'let her that is without sin cast the first stone' but in the context of ex-slaves, saying that none can be considered 'pure' is depressing! It made me wonder also about how people ignoring their past or pretending to be other than they are can easily turn to attacking others for not being as good as they. Anyone who looks at their own history will find a lot of bad stuff, when the issue of slavery in the USA is added, the reality is scary! Oh, a few years ago I read a book written by an ex-slave, and the main bad guy's family name was 'Cheney' so guess some people should be more careful than others to look at the past!

About the bad blogging, this is the third time I reset my password! After each logoff it resets my info, and for some reason keeps sending my password info to a mac.com account that I don't have! Technology is scary!!!